Restless

I found myself mid-town after a tiring session of employee paperwork (timecard training!) just so we can lay out a few miles of AZT. The remedy for a few hours spent in TPS report cubicle land? Bike ride! From the meeting site I pedaled to the river path to ride the ‘Foothills Suburban Assault’ loop or Suburbo as I call it. When I lived mid-town, it was my go-to easy spin. I rode it hundreds of times.

yeah, like that many times

It’s a great way to unwind, watch sunsets, feel the breeze on your face. But it isn’t particularly exciting mountain biking. A few years back I moved rocks around and created a few jumps and alternate lines. It makes me smile to see how well ridden in the lines are now. But any ‘real’ trail in Tucson beats it hands down.

It got me thinking about my restless nature. I wondered how I was ever content to ride that loop so many times.

Ez and I have been ‘settled’ in Tucson for all of a few months, and we’re already getting restless. It’s beautiful here. We love it here. But neither of us seem to be the type to want to sit still too long.

It leads to some frustration, some cabin fever, some reflective thought.

We should be doing more with our lives. Be more portable. See more of the world.

It has been hitting Ez a little harder than me, since I have been buried in tracking work, at times.

Her cabin fever has lead to some brilliant ideas for new trips and new places. If the result is good, even if the means are a little uncomfortable, then all is good right?

photo by Chad Brown

I’m not really sure. Do we need to reject contentment in order to do amazing things? Every human I’ve ever met seems to be unable to completely accept contentment. That little voice in our heads telling us to strive for more can be a useful thing. But not at the expense of devaluing our existence, I say!

photo by Chad Brown

That’s a new line out at the 50 for me. The Lunchbox and practice have upped my confidence out there. I really never planned on riding new lines out there — just practicing and getting down the existing repertoire. But even with that intention I can’t help but look at new ones and be tempted by them. I’ve already ridden a bunch of new stuff this winter.

Why can’t I just be happy riding the known ones?

The safe ones. Oh wait, there’s nothing safe about that one.

I don’t know, it’s not the way we’re wired. Or not the way I’m wired, anyway.

And then sometimes, even on the most known and local of trails, truly amazing things happen.

Maybe a sunset, or a ride-high-buzz that knocks you off your socks. If you’re looking, even if you don’t go anywhere new or special, there is plenty of amazing happening all around. Amazing is what you make of it. Or perhaps a state of mind.

climbing the Gap is apparently the thing to do during the SuperBowl

So do we really need to explore new places, ride new lines, push limits in order to fulfill our potential?

The worry over unfulfilled potential is unfulfilling itself. Perhaps the most unfulfilling of all.

But for now, I’m going to keep at it, because it’s gotten me this far, and I love where I am. Hopefully a big desert trip is in my future — just have to figure out how to squeeze it between tracking events and AZT work.